Today is one of those days that i miss you. Well, the way you used to be. The way WE used to be. I found the hat you bought me. The one you loved on me. I don’t know, should i feel stupid for still missing you? I fight myself everyday so i dont text you. I feel really stupid. On the brightside, i went for another run today. Going to get into shape this summer. Its pretty difficult. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. Feeling pretty down about myself. I’ve changed. I’m good to everyone. I try to be positive. I have a bunch of goals an i will reach them. But at the moment, things kinda suck. A cross of feeling like i’m rotting, i can’t sleep, and i think i’m still in love. So i’m pretty much at the bottom. I had a fight with my dad lastnight, he made me feel pretty shitty about myself. But maybe he had a point. I think he see’s that i’m in a bad spot. He doesnt really know how to deal with it i suppose. Moms too scared to speak up. She just watches. I don’t blame her i guess. But all in all, i have plans, and goals and all that good stuff. So i guess we’ll see what goes on.

I wonder if you still read this stuff, sometimes i hope. But i think in the back of my mind i know you don’t care anymore. Maybe its the things i’ve said. But i know you know i never meant any of it. I would have done awful things if i was really out to hurt you. But, i’m not, i never was.

I talk too much.

I know i shouldn’t.
I know you don’t miss me.
I’m still in love.
I hate love.
Love hurts.

I’m excited as fuck.